Ancient Chinese Secret: Origin

January 21, 2008. That's the exact day I decided I wanted to be a writer. Since then, I haven't written tons, but what I think is a fairly decent amount-- about 119,000 words of finished fiction stories. If word count doesn't mean diddly squat to you, that's somewhere around 500 pages.

After that amount of writing, it still seems weird to me that this story, Ancient Chinese Secret, is the first story I have ever written that didn't contain at least one person I know! I know that I need to work on character development skills, so I decided that I better make up all the characters. And just in case you were wondering, it wasn't nearly as fun. And it's not so much my normal writing subject matter, either. (Translation: my main person didn't have any special abilities or save the world as we know it.) But, it was still dang fun to write! It was an assignment in my creative writing class-- we had to write a fiction story based on the writing prompt "When would a gift be considered a threat?"

This is a story about a girl that is addicted to Chinese food, which is all a happy and good (albeit not necessarily a very exciting) thing. That is, until her fortunes start coming true.

And yes. When you have a friend who is addicted to Chinese food (love you, Judy!), it was hard to not make her be the main character. Or to put her SOMEWHERE in the story. But, I stuck to my guns and did all made-up characters. But it didn't stop me from naming a character Judy! She wasn't based off Judy, but it still made me happy to name her that.

Anyway, I promised a few of you I would post this when I finished it. It is a short story, but still 24 pages long, so I am going to post it in parts-- one part a day.

The Princess

One day, I got a hankerin to write a fairy tale. ‘Cuz gosh– could anything be more enjoyable than that? In about the same mental breath, I decided that a fairy tale as a baby gift for Erin would be the perfect way to do it, so I went to work on a plot.

Now, I have to say, plotting is not the easiest thing. (Well, ever, for me. But especially in this case.) Thinking back to traditional fairy tales.... you’ve got Cinderella whose mom dies and what does she get as her consolation prize? An evil family. Or Snow White who almost gets killed, then has to go into witness protection with short guys. Rapunzel whose mom is so mean she locks her up in a tower until she gets so desperate for company that she resorts to letting just anyone who happens by pull her hair with their entire body weight. Sleeping Beauty, who goes comatose for so long her muscles would surely have atrophied, leaving her a crippled invalid (they forgot to mention that part in the story).

And it goes on and on.... My point is, none of those things are the type of thing you can put in a fairy tale about a little girl still cuddled unborn in her mother’s stomach, and then give to her mother. I mean, who wants to hear that their baby grows up to be kidnaped or her family destroyed? No one I know. So, the conflict in the story couldn’t be life / limb / family threatening. It had to be something that, while unpleasant to watch your child have to deal with, isn’t terrifying.

I kinda liked Erin’s story being realistic. A plot that was not only possible, but probable, just put to fairy tale language. Which, I have to say, is dang fun to do! You just can’t get that flowery with normal stuff. (And as I wrote this, I suddenly had a vision that I could be writing the most un-fairy-tale-like story ever written, and Tammy and Kellie would probably still appreciate flowery descriptive prose. Thanks for that, btw.) But, fun as fairy tale language was to write, it was so much more difficult! Word choice makes an amazingly huge difference. Just because a word, by definition, fits exactly in the spot it's needed, doesn't mean it sounds right in that particular sentence. The whole story was 4,000 words, and probably took as long to write as something four times that size.

So, about the plot-- here’s how that went down. I got help. A lot of help. Erin, you so conveniently wrote a post on your blog (if memory serves, it was titled "The Ocho") listing your eight favorite qualities of Mark. He so conveniently followed that up with a list of his favorite qualities in you. I just took those lists, paired them up with a quality from each of you, and let that drive the plot. I could have come up with my own list of Erin qualities I love plenty easily enough, but something just isn’t quite right about coming up with qualities I appreciate about a guy when that guy isn’t closely related to me. So, thanks for doing it for me, Erin.

The wicked witchling just happened to fit so well as the antagonist. It was a conflict that could use all of the qualities Ruby will probably inherit from her parents to solve, and it didn’t tread on the risking life / limb / family thing. And it’s more than easy to imagine that the female offspring of Mark and Erin would be beautiful, smart, hard working, focused, patient, thoughtful, helpful, fun, have a love of exercise, betters herself, shows faith in others, and is a good leader.

Well, there you have it. The origins of The Princess. Erin, I hope you liked it well enough to someday read it to your daughter when she gets the urge to dance around in her nightgown while wearing a princess crown.

Chapter 12 1/2: By Request

And it really should have been there all along.

A few months ago when I was occasionally thinking about where I wanted Pivotal 2 to go when I finally got around to writing it, I did want more Angel, and him mentioning something redemptiony. But I only made a mental note of it, and then I misplaced the note! As it came right down to it and I was running out of time, I guess I just focused on what needed to be there for the plot, and didn't pay so much attention to... what would you call that? Character development? Anyway, lesson learned. Thanks for helping me to find what was lost, Kellie! It was fun. You fighting with him... I hope it was a thing of beauty in your mind, 'cuz it was in mine!

Oh, and the day I wrote your part, Kellie, I made Zucchini Garden Chowder! Mmmmm. I happen to be the only one in my family that likes it, so I got to eat it for lunch every day for like a week. Makes my tummy happy just thinking about it. The only thing that would have been better would have been to have foccacia bread on the side. And maybe orange rolls for dessert. So, an extra thanks for some great recipes!

And, the Spike being poetical part. That was just too good of an idea to let pass by, Tammy! Of course he would write a poem about Hope! I wish I would have thought of that. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be to make a poem sound like it had been written by a British vampire with attitude and a tender heart masquerading as a tough guy. Really hard. So, in the end I just gave up and went with what I had. I guess you'll just have to try harder to hear Spike's voice on that part. :-)

Anyway, thanks again for being such good sports about letting me write you. You guys are a blast to write! So sad I probably won't be able to do anything like this for a while.

Pivotal Chapter 8: Land Legs

In Ohio
Pivotal Part I limited me just a bit on some things. I originally wrote that Spike would be picking Tammy up from the airport, but it wasn’t night time, and I really didn’t want to deal with that. Plus, we would get plenty of time with Spike later, and we were losing Faith real soon.

In Pivotal I, I chose Ohio for the place for Spike and Hope to be. No particular reason; it just seemed like the thing to do. Then after I gave it to you guys, I watched the ending episode of Buffy, and realized that Cleveland is where the other hell mouth is, so I had to work with it... Turns out that made it just a bit more interesting.

I chose Canton for a city for two reasons, I think. The first reason is because I really didn’t want Hope laying down in her crib at night ON the hell mouth. Something about that just isn’t right. And Canton was in a good place on the map-- a good distance away from Cleveland, but not too far. I think the other reason is that it reminds me of Firefly. :-)

In L.A.
I needed someone else to be there with them-- having just Kellie, Angel, Illyria, and Gunn didn't seem like quite enough. I thought of Willow for about a second, then decided that brought a whole element that wouldn’t fit. I thought of making up a character, then Andrew came to mind. I love Andrew! How could I pass up putting him in it?

And, him pitching matching super hero costumes just seemed like what he would be doing.

And of course I had to bring up the sparkly vampire thing. Cuz, dang!!

Pivotal Chapter 9: Expectations

In Ohio
It gave me a lot of happiness to write the fight scene between Tammy and Faith. It has always seemed like something not within the realm of things I could do. I faked my way through the fight scene in Pivotal I, but I was really determined to give it my best here. It wasn’t anything major, of course, but I was so proud of myself when I was done! Makes me happy just thinking about it!

In L.A.
Pivotal I gave me a little grief here, too. It said something was going down in two weeks, but I didn’t want major happenings that soon into the story. I know I did it that way to have a reason for you to need to leave PG soon, so it had to be, but I wanted your time in these places to last longer!! So, getting the amulet answered that problem.

And yes Kellie, of course, St. Kendig’s was named after Carp's grandmother that passed away. Had I spent more time in the editing process, I would have gone back to your blog and used some of the exact wording you used to describe her in the part where I said "It had good, honorable, stalwart priests throughout its existence." But since I didn’t, hopefully that was a good enough tribute to her / her family.

In Cleveland
The Monarda Prophecy- Not only am I not good at coming up with original names for things, but I think it’s more fun when they mean something. You know, like bee balm...

I got a little "Joss would do this" whisper in my head as I was toward the very end of the LA part. I just knew that right after Giles said "Really. It will all be just fine. You’ll see." that I needed a "no, everything won’t be fine" scene. The Weylon / Lord Valak part did just that, and it was fun!

PIvotal Chapter 10: Separated

Hehehe- Tammy, I can totally picture you talking with Spike and bringing up the "earth’s womb" question.

And I did feel bad, Kellie, that Tammy got two fight scenes before you got your first. But, you had other cool things going on, and I knew you would get yours, and it would all work out in the end.

If I could have added more, I would have put in some sparring between Tammy and Spike, Kellie and Angel, and Kellie and Gunn. But, I was kinda lacking in time and originality. Plus, I didn’t want to make the book too long. Still makes me sad I couldn’t, though.

Pivotal Chapter 11: Obstacle

As I’m sure you caught, The Day of Ephemera was in reference to Tammy’s Valentines post. Plus, it seemed to fit (because of the something that doesn’t last part, not because it was valentinesish).

And, the priests name was Adam Franklin– that was for you, Kellie! Adam for John Adams, Franklin for Ben.

Did I mention I love Andrew? Of course he would have bought a cake!

And, yes, I do realize this is the first chapter in everything you have read that I have written where everything didn’t go according to plan. I know! It was about time!

Pivotal Chapter 12: At Home

I couldn’t have either of you missing home or missing each other too much, or wishing you could be somewhere else. You both are enjoy-the-time-of-life-you-are-in kind of people, so I felt like I should show that. So, I did the part with Tammy bathing Hope and talking about how she was loving it there. It seemed kinda cheesy to go straight to Kellie talking about how she was loving it where she was. So, I thought it would be more interesting to have it be from someone else’s viewpoint. Someone who was an outsider, watching Kellie be an insider, showing how well she was getting along with everyone and enjoying it there. Who is a better outsider than Illyria? And it was so much fun to get in her head. It was one of my favorite parts to write.

Pivotal Chapter 13: Realizations

It was fun to write Kellie’s fight scene. Especially the part with the bird of paradise flower. :-) And the vamp she was fighting was fun.

And I liked writing Angel getting frustrated, too. I kinda wished I could have had a scene with him by himself. Or with someone else– whatever. Just a way to get him into the story more.

Pivotal Chapter 14: Trap

This first part of this chapter with Spike being a baby hog was the first thing I wrote. I usually don’t work that way– I type from the first scene to the last, chronologically. Figuring out plot is fun, but writing is funner. I hadn’t figured out the plot yet, and was walking around and around and around my backyard trying to work through it in my head when this scene kept coming back to me. Before long, it was completely written in my head, so I had to type it before I lost it. After that, I was a good girl, and figured out at least generally what all was going to happen before I wrote again.

Months ago, when I had the first thoughts on Pivotal II going, I hadn’t planned on the end of this scene going quite the way it did. But then Spike just kept getting so dang attached to Hope as the story went along, that I knew this was the way it should be.

There is a deleted scene from this chapter. I wanted to include it, but no matter where I put it, it messed with the pacing. This was it:

***

Lord Valak walked into the room, and the thirty vampires it contained all stopped talking immediately and bowed. He was right to choose the title Lord when The First called him. The title brought instant respect. The kind of respect he knew he always deserved.

"You all know why you are here. You are my best soldiers. Ten of you will lie in wait to attack the vampire. Kill him!

"The rest of you will go to the church. Bring me the slayer. The First has promised her blood to me. She will give me the strength I need to make you all unkillable! We will take this earth for our own, and we will all live on in glory forever!"

He took a moment to appreciate the roar of the battle cry that came from his team. He knew all of them wouldn't survive. He didn't care.

***

I liked the scene. I was able to cover most of what was included here in other parts (like Lord Valak giving the speech that Tammy overheard). But I was kind of sad I couldn’t include that first and last paragraph, just to let you know more about Lord Valak.

I wrote a lot of the trap parts in Taco Amigo. And another part on another day as well. I had a few free hours, kidless, and I needed a place to go where no one would bug me that was air conditioned and had a table and a chair. I went into one of the booths, and wrote and wrote and wrote. The employees there didn't even give me any grief about it. Gotta love em!

And I liked that Spike’s being beaten to a bloody pulp didn’t stop him from running off to rescue Tammy and Hope. Ahhh. Love Spike.

Pivotal Chapter 15: Leaving

Aw, Kellie. You were so sad you couldn’t be there to help Tammy! I really felt bad for you as I wrote it.

Pivotal Chapter 16: Rescue

Another not enough time during editing problem. I wrote this part when I didn't have Internet access (probably during Alecia's gymnastics class), so I couldn't look anything up like I usually do when I write. Anyway, I don’t have any idea if they grow barley in Ohio or not. And it bugs me that it’s in there when I didn’t check to find out. There probably isn’t a Grove Cemetery, either. It would have been cooler if I had actually checked. I did choose actual roads in Canton that went by fields, though. That’s the best I could do.

Oh, and The ritual of Dimorphotheca. I probably don’t even need to mention this, cuz it would surprise me if you didn’t already know, but Dimorphotheca is the scientific name for African Daisy. You know, like the Serenity Purple one. :-)

Pivotal Chapter 17: Plans

Poor, poor Gunn. He hardly gets a line or two, let alone a viewpoint! I guess he just wasn’t one of my favorite characters. Not that I didn’t like him or anything, it’s just that the parts he logically did weren’t the ones I focused on, since he mostly went off with Angel to find things for the ritual. I could have gone there with them, but the story wasn't really about them, it was about the more PIVOTAL characters! Plus, he doesn’t have such a distinct personality that it would have been hard to write him anyway. It does makes me feel bad for him, though.

Do you know who I don’t feel bad for? Spike and Angel. Their arguing scene was fun!

Pivotal Chapter 18: First Shots

This chapter is the perfect example of why I love writing for you guys! You’re so dang funny!

Pivotal Chapter 19: All the Difference

Ahhh. Do you know what is more fun than fun? Writing a fight scene where there are 8 good guys and 2500 bad guys!! It’s giving me a high again, right now, just thinking about it. I mean, what could be more fun than that? Especially when they got to fight with such AWESOME weapons! We were at my parents house on Sunday, all my extended family, with my brother and his fam here from Georgia. I was riding on a high all night, just knowing that my computer was waiting for me at home, with blank pages to fill with an impossible-odds fight scene.

Pivotal Chapter 20: Elation

Okay, I had to have a reason that Andrew let Hope leave. I didn’t want anything very bad to happen to him, because, did I mention? I love him! (Not love, love, of course). It just seemed like him tripping and knocking himself out was the perfect solution.

Oh, and interesting side note. I really didn't have enough time to think about chapter names a whole lot. So, this is mostly how they got named: I would explain to Kyle what happened in that chapter, and he would tell me what it should be named, and I would usually type that name in, or a form of that word / phrase. He's pretty good at it, don't you think?

Before I got down to the last week or so, this book had several possible endings.

A few months ago, as I was occasionally thinking about Pivotal II, I had originally planned that in the end, Tammy and Giles would take Hope to Hope’s aunt to see if she wanted to adopt her. Hope’s aunt would then see, through the course of their meeting, how good Tammy was with Hope, then very pointedly say that she thinks Hope would do best being raised by a slayer, and if there wasn’t a slayer that could be found that would be an excellent mother and that wanted her, then she would adopt her. But, I had a few problems with that; a couple I already addressed in the story.

The other, more important reason is my reason why. I kind of like leaving it where the story could have happened. You two could have become slayers, eventually saving the world and all that, then met your husbands, got married, and had kids. You still have your slayer powers, and are still using them in your current job as moms. And I get to be friends with a couple of formidable slayers! Keeping Hope would have just messed with that. Besides. Then I would have had to feel bad for Spike. I mean, he just really fell for Hope in a head-over-heels, I-wanna-be-a-great-dad kind of way. I would have hated to have taken that away from him.

Now, Tammy, if you want to think the story is not about the you you, and is really about another you, and you would like to imagine your other self ending up with Spike and getting to be the mom of Hope anyway, you go girl! It’s there for you if you want it. :-) But I’ll still be imagining it my way.

And, I had thought about Angel asking you to stay, Kellie. In some awkward way where he is trying to convince you that he still really needs your help, without trying to admit that he is really going to miss you.

In the end, I wasn’t really comfortable with either. So, I decided to take a page out of Joss' book and give you a gift of choosing how it ends. If you want to see it as a conclusion, the bulk of evil in the world gone, great! You can go back to college together, where your classes with Tim Minear are waiting. If you aren’t quite done with adventures, you can all stay together in Cleveland for a while, and figure out how to close that hell mouth. I’m sure that will be more than fun. And, if you want to keep going, you could even travel to Europe to help Buffy get rid of the vampires-running-wild-for-a-century problem. You can even see lots and lots of great sights while you are there! Like being on vacation! Whatever you pick, I hope you love it there.